Celebrity Sleuth Vol. 5 No. 8 “Noble Nudes”

THE LINE OF SUCCESSION …
MONARCHS OF MONACO
4 Princess Grace
8 Princess Caroline
14 Princess Stephanie
RE•CURRENT AFFAIRS
20 Giannina Facio
22 Isabella Ferrari
24 Princess Sophie von Hapsburg
26 Mette Poulsen
PRINCE AL’S GALS
28 Monaco Menagerie
30 Patrizia Pellegrino
32 Princess Catherine Oxenberg
34 Bea Fiedler
38 Teri Weigel
THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR
40 Queen Elizabeth II
42 Princess Margaret
46 Princess Anne
48 Diana, The Princess of Wales
54 Sarah, The Duchess of York
RANDY ANDY’S DANDIES
58 Koo Stark
62 Ruth Burnett
64 Katie Rabbet
66 Clare Park
68 Vicki Hodge
PUT YOUR DUKES UP!
70 The Duchess of Windsor
72 The Duchess of Kent
74 Lady Helen Windsor
LONG MAY THEY RHINE
76 Princess Michael of Kent
78 Princess Gloria von Thurn und Taxis
LADIES OF SPAIN
80 Princess Ira von Furstenberg
84 Princess Jackie de Hohenlohe
86 The Duchess de Feria
88 Baroness Carmen von Thyssen
92 Baroness Francesca Thyssen
94 The Marquesa de Cubas
98 Back Issues Available
99 Special Offers

EDITORIAL
THE SLEUTHSAYER
“The royal family is a symbol, like a national flag or anthem,” opined the New York Times, “and as such it must stand for the national interest; it must provide a common denominator.” And what more common denominator is there than the nobility of nudity?
“ASS one of the cast members of Dynasty, “gushed real-life Princess Catherine Oxenberg {p. 32}, “I’m part of a sort of institution that is the closest America gets to royalty. The irony of that,” she giggled, “is that I swore I would never get involved in just such a situation. “And so did your fellow bluebloods whose royal revelations fulfill the line of succession above!
In deference to my loyal subjects, your sovereign Sleuth has trained his regal eye for the first time on those monarch butterflies who’ve spread their wings and throne caution to the wand. And the pickings were hardly baron, since it scarcely appears uncommon for these ermine-clad eyefuls to disrobe. Consequently, our inaugural Royalty issue has a little bit of everything: Sisters {Princesses Caroline & Stephanie; Queen Elizabeth & Princess Margaret}, Sisters in Law {Di, Fergie, & Anne; Princess Michael & the Duchess of Kent}, Mothers and Daughters {Princess Grace & her pretty pair; The Duchess of Kent & Lady Helen “Melons”; Catherine Oxenberg & her mom Princess Elizabeth}, and even Stepmothers {wickedly wild Baroness von Thyssen & her stunning stepdaughter Francesca}.
As an ardent observer of the nubility of nobility notes: “One must admit that the women of Britain’s royal family are remarkably well-endowed in their bosoms, each in her own way. There’s Queen Elizabeth II {p. 40}, whose regal breasts are never shown off to full advantage. Her sister Princess Margaret fp. 421 is petite, yet anything but small in the bust. And Princess Anne {p. 46} is tall and graceful and beautifully proportioned. Some time ago in Africa,” the monarch maven concludes, “women were chosen to reign over important ceremonies because of the appealing shape of their breasts. Could it be that the House of Windsor used a similar process of selection?” No…but we did!
Since royalteaser Catherine Oxenberg had the first word above, let her also have the last: “I was brought up to keep everything in perspective; not get swept up in false images. However, I certainly did grow up as part of something rather unusual and spectacular.”
That’s precisely how we hope you’ll view this issue fit for a King…since we only exist “By Your Grace.”
Your 0-Beady-Eyed Servant,